When I was nineteen I thought it would be a fun idea to write three letters to my future self. One to be opened age 21, the second to be opened aged 25 and the third to be opened aged 30. I can't really remember where I got the idea from, but I think I'd heard about and read Victoria Beckham's letter to her eighteen year old self. I thought this was a really cool idea and it inspired me to do a similar sort of thing.
I had two issues though. One, that I may forget completely that I wrote the letters and two, that I may lose or misplace them during the time. While pottering on in my room over the weekend, I found the letter that I wrote for my twenty-one year old self.
'Dear Brogan,
If I'm reading this, it means two things. Firstly, that I managed to remember about these letters and second, I actually managed to not lose them. Well done me :) I'm writing this on 21/10/13. It's a Monday and I should be at uni. Instead, I'm writing this in bed and listening to the Nashville soundtrack. So, I'm 21! Congrats to me I guess. I wonder if I had a mini nervous breakdown before my Birthday... I know how much I hate getting older. Being 21 also means something else... I will be graduating university that year! Congratulations for sticking it out and working hard. I know that you hated it, or maybe that changed, but I know how hard you found it to adapt. Well done for staying strong. Yes, you had moments of weakness, but you continued to push through. What's that quote? "Fall down seven times, stand up eight." Your 19 year old self is worried about a slipping work ethic. It was so strong at school and sixth form, but it seems to have faded slightly. STOP IT. Get back to it, work your ass off and get what you deserve. You know you will never forgive yourself if you don't. I know you like your own company, but try and put yourself out there a little bit more. I don't want to hit 21 and feel like I've missed out on people and experiences. I know it's difficult and uncomfortable, but you never know, something good may come of it. Don't ever compromise yourself again. You have built yourself back up. The pieces of you that were chipped away are starting to fit again. Don't lose yourself just because you found someone else. YOU are important. Remember, you will always have yourself. Be kind, give people your time, but remember to be guarded. Give second chances. After that, do not be afraid to cut people off. You do not need negative, toxic people in your life. Fuck bad vibes. I hope you believe in yourself a little bit more. You are smart, thoughtful and considerate. Stop putting yourself down. Give yourself a break. You have so much to offer. Believe that. Try and follow your heart a little more - but never stop listening to your head. It's usually right, give yourself some credit. Keep a diary. Try and write poetry. You do have a creative side, one that you keep hidden. But it's there, so use it. By now you've probably figured out your next step. Your 19 year old self has three options at the moment. I wonder if I've picked one of those... or something entirely different? Whatever it is, work hard and be passionate about what you're doing. It makes a difference, trust yourself. Keep working hard, it will pay off. Keep reading. Keep listening to good music. Remember it's okay to say no. You do not have to please everybody. Do things that you want, when you want to do them. Continue being yourself. You're a great friend and a good person. Do not let go of your morals and values. Do not quit. Whatever you do, keep trying, keep trying, keep trying. Love, Brogan'
I had remembered to read this when I turned twenty-one, but since, had completely forgotten all about it. When I read it again this weekend, I choked up a little bit. After a rough few months, some of the things I'd written to myself nearly four years ago are still relevant to me now. And I needed to be reminded of certain things. In any way, I'm really glad I decided to do that. It's such a great letter to have to be able to look back on and reflect at how I was feeling in that moment and the advice I was giving my future self. I have no idea what I wrote in the other two letters, I guess only time will tell. One thing's for sure though, I'm really looking forward to reading them and finding out.
If like me, you're a sentimental person, I would definitely recommend you writing yourself a letter. Whether you decide to do it to your future or past self, I think it's a great idea and something worth keeping so you can look back on and remember a specific time in your life.
Love,
Brogan
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